Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Just do it...even if you suck!

This pretty much sums up my attitude today.  I suck!  The weeks are getting harder to stick with.  I must add that I pretty much took last week off.  I was tired.  Tired of running.  Tired of my weight not going anywhere despite calorie crunching and exercising my butt off.  Tired of eating salads and grilled chicken.  Boy, I guess I'm a buzz kill right now!  So let me apologize for my attitude!  I'm hungry and dealing with sciatica.  My left leg is numb and painful at the same time.  So, new week today!  Made myself go on a run.  Took my vitamins.  Eating a salad as I type.  I'm back at it despite my attitude.  I realize that no matter what, I just have to hang on.  Even if it's only by a string, I'm hanging.  It's never a good thing when I miss more than 3 days without exercise.  My husband notices it and most likely comments about my poor attitude.  I'm just so frustrated!  I feel like I'm in a paddle boat and I'm paddling with all of my might but not going an inch.  This is harder than it has ever been.  I feel like that girl that everyone looks at and says "boy, she's really let herself go".  Maybe it's my age?  Sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart.  But in the end, I realize that I am truly blessed.  I'm blessed to be able to walk and to have the health that I do.  How blessed am I to even be able to do 4 miles today?  Pretty blessed.  I do try and remember that....even though I suck! Lol!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Don't quit!

I'm so glad I saw this picture this morning on my Pinterest!  I'm really having a hard time pushing through.  My knees are beginning to bug me sometimes.  My weight is at a standstill.  I feel like I'm going nowhere and I'm making no progress.  Deep down though, I know I just have to hang in there.  I have done this before.  Giving up is the easy way out.  Last week I took it easy...my knees were bugging me and I worked a lot.   Our Anniversary was the 17th and we went out of town Friday and Saturday.  We made it home last night and I had a decision to make.  Skip the long run this week or do it when I woke up this morning.  I work tonight so I slept in until 10am.  I woke up & stepped on the scale only to realize that I apparently am 4 pounds heavier!  What???  I've done so good lately.  My husband and I shared meals on our little Anniversary get-away.  I drank water!  WTH?  I'm mad at this point.  So....I went and ran.  I did 5 miles today!  I didn't skip my long run, I did it.  Regardless of all of my disappointments lately, I did it.  And, I ran 2 miles straight without walking.  You see, when I started this, I knew that I was going to have to incorporate walking within my running due to my knees.  And that's ok with me.  It doesn't matter if I walk some of a marathon as long as I finish!  Some people would go crazy if they couldn't run the whole thing, but that's not me.  I've walked portions of the Half-Marathons I have done and I feel just as relieved and proud as if I ran the whole thing.  I've just got to stick with it.  My husband reminded me this weekend, "Time is on your side".  That's so true!  The only thing I feel rushed about is losing weight and that's only because I know how good it feels when I am skinnier and running.  It's the best feeling in the world.  It's better than any dose of anti-depressant that I could take.  So, my lesson today was just to hang in there when you feel like giving up....like I didn't already know this, but sometimes you just need a little reminder!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Week 4

Oh yeah, I'm rocking this song on my runs!  It's definitely a pick-me-up when I am down on myself.  Last week went great.  My knees were a little tender this morning....I ran yesterday morning and then worked all night and boy, were we busy!  On my feet ALL night.  I decided for my CT today I would bike.  I'm finding that as long as I don't run for several consecutive days in a row, than my knees have been ok.  So as well as having a little better week, I had some improvement on my weight loss also.  Down 3.3 pounds.  Not bad really.  I am at the point where I am tracking all calories which can sometimes be a bummer, but it seems to be the only true thing that I can stick to and be slightly dedicated.  I raided my closet today for the perfect goal jeans that I literally DUG out from the very bottom of the huge pile of jeans.  Many of which, I can no longer fit into comfortably.  That's ok...I'm working on it.  On to running....My long run on Saturday was 4 miles.  I took my time, focusing on just finishing whether I had to stop and walk so I could breathe or not. This last week I was much more mentally tough than the previous weeks, so that's definitely some progress.  What is it that they say, it takes 4 or 6 weeks for you to notice a change after starting an exercise program?  Well, it's been 4 weeks and I've mostly just noticed that I don't want to die so much when I'm exercising.  As far as everything else goes, I guess I need 2 more weeks to hang in there.  So, on to another week!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Week 3

I have to say that last week was tough.  Everything about it sucked.  The workouts. The eating. Working.  My weight. You name it, and it screwed up my week of running.  I didn't end up getting to do my long run on Saturday, so I ended up adding it on Sunday.  It was definitely one of the runs where you constantly are hating on yourself.  Here's the thing about me....I'm a self-sabotage kind of runner.  Who does this?  Am I the only one that constantly has 2 voices arguing the whole time I'm running about whether I can do this crazy idea anyway?  Sorry this is an emotional roller-coaster ride today, but this is where I'm at.  21 weeks to go so I better snap out of it, huh?  3 weeks and you would think the scale would be budging.  I'm not eating any more than I was, and I sure don't think I'm eating worse.  I guess it might be time for Calorie counting again....bummer!  It's just been a couple of crazy weeks.  I wish I could say that there's a routine is in front of me waiting, but it's not.  This is my life.  Crazy. Unprepared.  Unstructured.  Sometimes I long for that to actually be a part of my life, but it never has been.  I actually find myself thriving better in chaos which is the craziest thing.  Except, for the last couple of weeks.  Adding a running program has messed it up.  I ran 3 miles tonight.  It actually felt good despite the 100 degree weather.  Ugh.  Could Kansas get any hotter right now?  I think I was born a California girl at heart.  So a little late on the posting, but week 3 is done and it's on to week 4.  I'm going to try to rock it....as well as my calorie counting!  

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Week 2

Today was the end of week two and I have to say that despite this crazy week, I managed to do 80% of the week's workouts.  My father-in-law ended up having some acute health problems and stayed with us for 4 days.  So despite some of my best efforts, there were 2 days that got a little jumbled up.  Saturday is my long run.  It's kind of weird for me since it used to always be on Sundays, but I think I'm going to get used to it.  My long run today consisted of 3 miles and I have to admit that it was way better than I had thought it would go after this long week.  Right now I'm focusing on trying to get all of my miles under 14 minutes.  I'm sure that sounds so slow to another runner and personally, I could seriously walk faster than I can run sometimes.  I'm hoping that by the time the Marathon is here, I'm down to under 12:30 min/miles.  I'm thinking that's actually a pretty good goal.  After all, it's not about how fast I do it, it's about doing it & finishing!  And I know I'm going to have to do the early start and have all kinds of fast people passing me.  I'm okay with that.  Maybe I should make it another goal to get to a certain mile before those Boston qualifiers zoom past me?  After all it's a 2 hour head-start.  Hey, it just occurred to me that maybe I'll make it to some of the cool snack tables before all of the good stuff is gone!   That was always my problem at the other Half Marathons I did.  I'm so slow that by the time I made it to like mile 7 or 8, all of the GU and other sugary snacks were gone and it was the standard Gatorade drinks throughout the run.  I'm not complaining, but really, is there a shortage of GU or something?  You have 13,000 or more runners and only order enough for the first 10,000?  I always wondered this as I run over thousands of packages, but got handed the lovely Lemon Gatorade...YUCK!  
The other day I was telling someone about this plan of mine to run a full Marathon.  We were talking and I happened to mention that hopefully I would lose this 20 extra pounds that I've accrued during my training.  She asks me, "don't you need all of that to help you train?"  Seriously lady??  Look at me!  I'm chubby.  I don't need any of this to help me!  As a matter of fact, I'm sure my knees would like to kiss me with every pound I actually do lose.  People are weird, aren't they? 
Well, 22 weeks to go.  Tomorrow is rest day.  And since it's been such a crazy busy week, I think I'll do just that...REST!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

"If No One Thinks You Can Then You Have To"
Week 1....done!  Only like 23 more weeks to go.  Not too bad.  I can do anything for 6 months, right?  Week 1 was ok.  I am finding that I am having to walk more than I want to, but that's ok.  I will keep doing what I'm doing and working on decreasing my time.  Here was my week 1 plan:
   Monday: 2 miles/20 min Stretching/Strength Training
   Tuesday:  30 minutes Cross Training
   Wednesday:  2 miles
    Thursday:  2 miles
   Friday:  Rest
   Saturday: 2 miles
   Sunday:  Rest
I have started to tell a few people my plan.  I get the same response pretty much from everyone....they give me that look that says "OOOOOKKKK sure".  Which tells me that I don't think too many people have faith in me.  I am doubting myself at this point so I don't really blame them!  But something deep inside just tells me to keep going.  When I trained before I remember people that didn't really believe me until I ran a half-marathon and then they were like "I knew you could do it".  Yeah right, you had faith all along..lol.  Who knows, maybe I'll go 2 more weeks and realize that this is crazy.  Maybe I won't.  I guess time will only tell. 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Beginning of a 6 month journey

"Running is nothing more than a series of arguments between the part of your brain that wants to stop and the part that wants to keep going"
The other day it hit me while I was out on a walk/run....What the heck am I doing?  I loved running.  My dream and one of my all-time bucket list items is to run a full marathon.  It's the reason I created this blog.  Why did I go so long without it?  How did I let myself get to this point of not running?  I miss it!  I miss the feeling of awesomeness.  And furthermore, I miss the feeling of getting into my skinny jeans!  I know I can do it!  I've ran 3 half-marathons for crying out loud.  I've become an out of shape weenie. I can do anything I set my mind on.....right? These were my thoughts while I was out that day.  So tomorrow it starts.  My mind is made up.  Am I going to keep going this route and be totally unhappy with myself?  No!  It's time to suck it up and get going.  So I've given myself some goals for the next six months and here they are:

                               1. Listen to my body
                               2. Drink lots of water daily
                               3.  Learn how to incorporate yoga into my training
                               4. Use my muscle roller
                               5.  Don't let others influence negative thoughts about my running

I'm sure there will be more along the way....after all, I'm just getting started.  So, today I'm back from  the cabin resting, but tomorrow it's sneaker time!